I need a moment, and Tom knows this and has taken the initiative to start P's lunch downstairs. We just returned from church and I am close to tears because of one, short sentence muttered to me just before mass begun.
"Mom, are you gaining weight?"
I had to choke back tears.
This came from a male (of course) who knows me fairly well and sees me weekly. Who knows I have a four-month-old. Who was obviously implying that perhaps I am pregnant again. My poor already fragile self-esteem took a direct hit. Mayday, Mayday. My battleship has been sunk.
What kills me is that just this morning, I weighed myself and was pleasantly happy to see 152.5. That is down about 8 pounds from where I was two months ago. I was feeling good about myself. I could see someone not noticing that amount of weight loss, but to think I had gained? I have been working so hard! Follow that comment with Tommy spitting up all over my dress and shoe during mass, then pooping through his clothes towards the end of mass. I feel that this particular Sunday is a wash. Not sure if my ego can recover.
Maybe my emotions have something to do with a heartbreaking story here in Pittsburgh. Friday afternoon, a mother and her two children drowned when a nine foot wall of water that came from a flash flood buried their minivan as they drove down a main road. It happened on the exact same route I had just driven 4 hours earlier on my way back from my gym. In fact, it had already started raining when I left the gym. Same spot, just separated in time my mere hours. They had just left their husband/dad who they had met for lunch and were heading home. Another 72-year old woman also died in the same spot when she left her car to try to get to higher ground.
So here I am, feeling sorry for myself when really I certainly have nothing to mope about. When I actually put it in writing, it seems like such a petty thing to even complain about when such devastating loss has occurred.
Please say a prayer for those families, even if you have never driven Washington Blvd.
Moping over.
Chin up, girlfriend. Eight pounds in two months is NO JOKE! Give yourself time... each day gets you one step closer. It was probably the outfit you were wearing that made you look bigger than you actually are. Who is this person? And what audacity? You NEVER ask a woman (more importantly a postpartum woman!) about gaining weight!!! Oh heavens. Show him your before, after crossfit pics and he'll get the picture.
ReplyDeleteMay God bless the family who lost so much Friday...